I hate crickets

I have rather severe insomnia, I sometimes go days without sleeping.
On Sunday nights my insomnia always seems to be worse.
Last night I snuggled up in bed, finished my emails and texts, to go to sleep at a decent hour.
I closed my eyes and began counting cowboys jumping a fence...........................
What do I hear??
The shrill mating call of a very horny cricket.
The sound that this cricket was producing was more ear drum assaulting that a smoke alarm.
The cricket sounded like he was just outside my window, maybe on the window sill.
I get out of bed and bang on the window.
He stops.
I climb back into bed.
No sooner than I have pulled the covers up over me and put my body pillow between my legs, he starts again!!!!
I repeat this process about 6 times and give it up.
I gather my pillows and head down to the sofa.
Defeated by the persistent love song of a cricket.
His serenade should have been recorded and used to torture prisoners at Gitmo.
2 hours sleep is not nearly enough for this gal.

The Booty Call

As much as I am a fan of wild and uninhibited sex, I don't always have sex on the first date.
Especially if I really like the guy and think that there is any chance we could actually develop a relationship.
But this is not uuumm satisfying.
So I have a friend that I see once and a while for a Booty Call.
My friend, who i'll call D, is 27!!
Remember I am 41!
Huge ego boost
I, honestly, had not been with a 27yo since I was about 27!
So last night I go to dinner with a super nice guy, B.
He was so curtious and a real gentleman.
He kissed me as I got in my car (a very nice kiss).
While on my way to meet B, my 27yo friend D messaged me and said that he wanted to see me.
I told him I was on my way to meet a date and would catch up with him later.
After dinner I headed to Ds apartment.
This time it was actually clean!!
I asked him if he had told his friends that he had slept with an old lady.
He said that he had not, but that it would be epic.
He said they would love the fact that I am a mom, making him an actual motherfucker.
Hilarious!!!
My friend D is quite well endowed.
We had some nice, hot, rough sex - he has loads of stamina!!
I then fixed my make-up and hair, got dressed and D walked me to the car.
He asked me if I would like to stay all night sometime.
I said "Maybe".
I'm not sure if it would still be a booty call if I actually spent the night.
But sex all night with a 27yo is something I am very interested in.
He kissed me at the car and I drove off, feeling very much like a guy....

fetishes

I have a particular fetish that many will think is odd.
I dig blood.
I like seeing it on my skin, the contrast is really arousing to me.
I like to see it dripped on various body parts during sex.
I have hesitated to even mention this for fear that people will think that i have jumped on the Vampire Bandwagon.
I have no desire to drink some one's blood.
And I have never even seen or read Twilight.
The fetish comes from an incident many years ago when a man was going down on me and he got a nosebleed.
Before we noticed the blood was everywhere.
Between my legs, on my breasts.......
Just thinkng about it turns me on.
It is a little awkward to bring up, and most of the guys that i have mentioned this to, say "Uuumm, no I'm not into that".
I see an ad on CL for a guy looking for a kinky girl.
Bingo!!
I'm kinky, this could work out perfectly.
I email him back, we exchange a few emails about what we like etc etc...
I go all in and tell him about my blood fetish.
He tells me "I don't think I can do that " "If you want to put on a strap on and fuck me, make me drink your pee, whip me, make me have sex with a dog I'm in. But blood crosses my boundaries".
What the fuck???
You will engage in bestiality, but you won't let me drip some of my own blood on your cock??
He made me feel like I was the freak!!
I have since found one guy that was into it, well somewhat into it. I'll call him G.
He wouldn't let me cut myself, so he cut his own wrist and we dripped the blood all over us and had some very hot sex.
I liked G, he was definitely fun in bed.
I have since got the impression that he is a little unhinged.
Him being unhinged is probably the reason he was willing to cut his wrist for me
It was HOT, I'd love to someday be in a relationship where we could incorporate that into our bedroom activities from time to time.

sexting

I am a texting fool, I love it.
Perfect form of communication, especially since I hate talking on the phone.

I have been emailing, IMing and sexting with a guy i'll call Mr.Tush.
We talked about the dirty things we like to do.
This was early in our relationship and we hadn't sent any naughty pix to one another.
So Mr.Tush asks for a pic of my panties.
I go to the restroom, slip them off, lie them on the sink and snap a pic.
I slip them back on and return to my desk.
In my phone I have the numbers of 2 guys with the same first name, Mr.Tush and a friend of my ex.
I pull up the pic, send it to the first guy with the same first name.
Guess what?
It was the wrong one.
About 30 minutes later I realize this when i get a pic of his junk!!
This friend of my ex sent me a pic of his cock - geez.
Now he thinks I want him.
How do I get myself in these situations?

Married Men

First, let me preface this post, by saying I am not judging anyone for their extracurricular activities.
Lord knows I have had uuummm activites outside my marriage.
But I have not kept the fact that I was married from potential partners.
I expect the same full disclosure from the men I spend time with.

I get a response to my CL ad, from a man who is about my age and looks very handsome from his pic.
I call him Contractor Guy.
We exchange a few emails.
He asks me to meet him on the patio of a local Friday's at 4 on the following Friday afternoon.
I say yes
I get there a little early.
Get a good table, order a long island iced tea and flirt with the waiter.
I check out every man that walks in, part of me is frightened that he won't look like his pic.
Finally he arrives, looking like his picture!!
We both get a drink and order appetizers.
The conversation flows freely, we laugh.
I continue to flirt with the waiter, more subtley.
We finish our meal, he walks me to my car.
As we are standing (awkwardly) next to my car, he finally leans down and kisses me.
He is an excellent kisser, not too sloppy, just the right amount of tongue.
Very nice.
We look up and notice that the patrons on the patio were watching us.
I ask him if he would like to sit in my car and he promptly hops in.
I drive to the back of the restaraint, where we kiss more and more.
He asks me to go back to his place.
I tell him that I don't think I should (I know, shocking).
I was really digging this guy and didn't want to ruin it by jumping into bed too soon.
He mentions that if I did go home with him that he wouldn't want his neighbors to see me, because they would give him a hard time.
He also mentions that some of his ex's things are still at his house. (some of my ex's things are at my house too).
I honestly didn't think too much of either statement.
We finally say goodbye.
As I am driving home he calls.
I am smitten.
We plan to see each other the next evening after I go to a wedding.
He calls again the next morning, has something to take care of for his son.
No problem.
We text a few times.
He tells me he isn't going to be able to make it.
I'm cool with that, I understand.
Not a single word from him since!!
I did send him a brief text, no reply.
A male friend analyzed the situation and regretfully informed me that Contractor Guy was married.
Of course....................

Online dating

After being officially separated for a little while i decided to try out a dating site.
A friend of mine met a nice girl on this particular site, so I thought "what the hell".
I took my time and wrote, what i think is, an awesome profile.
Included recent pics and reasonable expectations.

I review the list of matches they give me, some are cute, some are not, some are old, some are weird.
As I am perusing the list for Mr.Right, I see I have a message.
Woohoo!!
Someone has already read my profile, and they think that I am awesome.
I excitedly pull up my messages.
I hope he is cute!!
My mind was not prepared for what I was about to see.................................
The message I was so excited to see was from............................ wait for it...............................
a friend of my father's!!!!!
Holy fucking shit! I was so creeped out.
I felt like I needed a shower immediately.
I considered removing my profile on the spot!!
But I didn't.
I did quickly delete the message, and am still trying to forget !!!

The English are Freaky - and I like it!!

As promised I am continuing with a story about a freaky English guy I met from my CL ad.
In all future posts I will refer to him as CJ.

He answered my ad, we began emailing and instant messaging immediately.
The conversations turned to sex very quickly.
I told him that I was interested in exploring my submissive side.
He told me that he was Dom.
Perfect!
We discussed bondage, lashings with a belt and various other activities.
To say that I was intrigued would have been an understatement!!
Our first phone call was so arousing.
He has such a sexy accent, I said English and he corrected me. It was Welsh.
When we spoke he called me his Maiden.
It made me weak in the knees.
After a few sessions of hot phone sex we decided to meet.
There is a park not far from my office that offered some privacy so we decided to meet there.
When I arrive, he is already there walking around the nature paths.
I pull into a parking space and get out of the car, he walks over to meet me and immediately kisses me. Mmmmm his lips were soft.
He suggests a walk and we head down one of the nature trails.
When we were sure that we were out of the view of the other park patrons, he pushes me against a tree and we begin kissing passionately.
I feel his erection hard against my leg.
I drop to my knees and he removes himself from his pants.
He was quite large and uncut. (never been with an uncut guy before)
I take him in my mouth, I hear him moan (I LOVE that).
He only allows me to perform on him for a little while before he pulls me by my shoulders back to a standing position.
He reaches down to unfasten my pants, they fall to my ankles along with my panties.
I gingerly turn around and bend over bracing myself against a tree.
I hear his belt being pulled through his belt loops, my breath catches in my throat.
He takes me hard from behind as he brings the belt down hard across my ass.
It didn't take me long to reach the point of no return!!
When we finished and walked back to the car, I noticed that my previously beautifully flat-ironed hair was now a huge pouf ball!!
It was well worth it.