Embarrassing Moments

When I start chatting with someone online I like to ask a few standard questions.
Favorite movie, musical genre and most embarrassing moment.
It is interesting to me how many guys deny having a most embarrassing moment.
I don't know if they think it makes them appear less masculine or weak.
I think that it makes a person seem more human, more relatable.
J had a couple, that I absolutely loved.
He once went to work with 2 different shoes on.
I have girlfriends that have done that, but he is the first guy I've known to do it.
Another time he forgot to wear a shirt.
I thought that meant that he was topless - woohoo.
But he informed me that he did, in fact, have on an undershirt.
My life is rife with embarrassing moments.
My most memorable one happened when I was about 15.
I can still close my eyes and put myself right back there.
It was at the swimming pool in my home town.
It was the only recreation around, so nearly every kid I knew was there.
I had just climbed out of the pool and was standing poolside talking to a boy from my class.
I glance over and see the lifeguard motioning to me.
I politely wave back to her.
I thought, I must be getting popular for the lifeguard to want to say HI.
I continue chatting up my classmate, laughing, fluttering my eyelashes.
I really thought I had it going on that hot summer day.
After several minutes of me basking in my own glory, a girlfriend walks up to me and points at my chest.
I look down, my right boob was completely exposed!!
I looked down at my boob, then over at the lifeguard who is shaking her head, at the boy I was chatting with and immediately jump in the pool.
I stayed under water as long as my lungs would allow.

I can honestly say that I don't think I would mind it nearly as much if that happened to me today, I have nice boobs.

fantasies

Fantasies.
Ask someone about their sexual fantasies, the range of answers can be as wide at the pacific.
Some mild and almost laughable and others can almost be disturbing.
In my opinion all fantasies are fair game as long as everyone is a consenting adult.
I think everyone has a go-to fantasy that they use when masturbating, well every woman probably.
I have a couple.
The first one has me in a dimly lit bar, smoke hangs in the air, a jukebox drones in the background. I am sitting at a table and have a glass of bourbon and a cigarette in my hand.
At the bar I see a handsome man, he glances in my direction several times. I catch his glance with my eyes, holding it for a moment.
He tilts his head, raises his eyebrow and gives me a little crooked smile.
I return his smile.
He turns around, motions to the bartender, orders a drink.
When I look up again he is walking my way with a drink in each hand.
He places a glass of bourbon in front of me, stares into my eyes and says "i want to fuck you".
Without taking my eyes off of his handsome face i say "okay".
"follow me" he says.
I comply, we walk to the door of the men's room.
He quickly opens the door and gestures for me to walk in.
I walk in, he quickly follows and pushes me against the wall and kisses me passionately.
He takes one arm and turns me around so that i am facing the wall.
He pushes me into the wall until i am flush against it.
One of his hands reaches under my skirt, pulling down my panties.
I feel his cock pressing hard against my bottom.
I hear his zipper, i feel his hard cock enter me hard and fast.
My breath catches in my throat.
God he is big.
He starts fucking me hard, when we hear the door open.
A young man walks in.
We don't stop.
The young man immediately becomes aroused, i can see his erection straining against his jeans.
He whispers to my new friend, put a finger in her ass.
My friend complies.
A few more strokes and I am cumming hard.
He fucks me even harder.
"I'm gonna cum" he moans as he gives me a few more pulsating strokes.
He then leans over and kisses the back of my neck.
I regain my composure, straighten my skirt, smooth out my hair and walk back out to the bar.
I gather my purse and coat and head out into the night.
Very satisfied..........................

I hate crickets

I have rather severe insomnia, I sometimes go days without sleeping.
On Sunday nights my insomnia always seems to be worse.
Last night I snuggled up in bed, finished my emails and texts, to go to sleep at a decent hour.
I closed my eyes and began counting cowboys jumping a fence...........................
What do I hear??
The shrill mating call of a very horny cricket.
The sound that this cricket was producing was more ear drum assaulting that a smoke alarm.
The cricket sounded like he was just outside my window, maybe on the window sill.
I get out of bed and bang on the window.
He stops.
I climb back into bed.
No sooner than I have pulled the covers up over me and put my body pillow between my legs, he starts again!!!!
I repeat this process about 6 times and give it up.
I gather my pillows and head down to the sofa.
Defeated by the persistent love song of a cricket.
His serenade should have been recorded and used to torture prisoners at Gitmo.
2 hours sleep is not nearly enough for this gal.

The Booty Call

As much as I am a fan of wild and uninhibited sex, I don't always have sex on the first date.
Especially if I really like the guy and think that there is any chance we could actually develop a relationship.
But this is not uuumm satisfying.
So I have a friend that I see once and a while for a Booty Call.
My friend, who i'll call D, is 27!!
Remember I am 41!
Huge ego boost
I, honestly, had not been with a 27yo since I was about 27!
So last night I go to dinner with a super nice guy, B.
He was so curtious and a real gentleman.
He kissed me as I got in my car (a very nice kiss).
While on my way to meet B, my 27yo friend D messaged me and said that he wanted to see me.
I told him I was on my way to meet a date and would catch up with him later.
After dinner I headed to Ds apartment.
This time it was actually clean!!
I asked him if he had told his friends that he had slept with an old lady.
He said that he had not, but that it would be epic.
He said they would love the fact that I am a mom, making him an actual motherfucker.
Hilarious!!!
My friend D is quite well endowed.
We had some nice, hot, rough sex - he has loads of stamina!!
I then fixed my make-up and hair, got dressed and D walked me to the car.
He asked me if I would like to stay all night sometime.
I said "Maybe".
I'm not sure if it would still be a booty call if I actually spent the night.
But sex all night with a 27yo is something I am very interested in.
He kissed me at the car and I drove off, feeling very much like a guy....

fetishes

I have a particular fetish that many will think is odd.
I dig blood.
I like seeing it on my skin, the contrast is really arousing to me.
I like to see it dripped on various body parts during sex.
I have hesitated to even mention this for fear that people will think that i have jumped on the Vampire Bandwagon.
I have no desire to drink some one's blood.
And I have never even seen or read Twilight.
The fetish comes from an incident many years ago when a man was going down on me and he got a nosebleed.
Before we noticed the blood was everywhere.
Between my legs, on my breasts.......
Just thinkng about it turns me on.
It is a little awkward to bring up, and most of the guys that i have mentioned this to, say "Uuumm, no I'm not into that".
I see an ad on CL for a guy looking for a kinky girl.
Bingo!!
I'm kinky, this could work out perfectly.
I email him back, we exchange a few emails about what we like etc etc...
I go all in and tell him about my blood fetish.
He tells me "I don't think I can do that " "If you want to put on a strap on and fuck me, make me drink your pee, whip me, make me have sex with a dog I'm in. But blood crosses my boundaries".
What the fuck???
You will engage in bestiality, but you won't let me drip some of my own blood on your cock??
He made me feel like I was the freak!!
I have since found one guy that was into it, well somewhat into it. I'll call him G.
He wouldn't let me cut myself, so he cut his own wrist and we dripped the blood all over us and had some very hot sex.
I liked G, he was definitely fun in bed.
I have since got the impression that he is a little unhinged.
Him being unhinged is probably the reason he was willing to cut his wrist for me
It was HOT, I'd love to someday be in a relationship where we could incorporate that into our bedroom activities from time to time.

sexting

I am a texting fool, I love it.
Perfect form of communication, especially since I hate talking on the phone.

I have been emailing, IMing and sexting with a guy i'll call Mr.Tush.
We talked about the dirty things we like to do.
This was early in our relationship and we hadn't sent any naughty pix to one another.
So Mr.Tush asks for a pic of my panties.
I go to the restroom, slip them off, lie them on the sink and snap a pic.
I slip them back on and return to my desk.
In my phone I have the numbers of 2 guys with the same first name, Mr.Tush and a friend of my ex.
I pull up the pic, send it to the first guy with the same first name.
Guess what?
It was the wrong one.
About 30 minutes later I realize this when i get a pic of his junk!!
This friend of my ex sent me a pic of his cock - geez.
Now he thinks I want him.
How do I get myself in these situations?

Married Men

First, let me preface this post, by saying I am not judging anyone for their extracurricular activities.
Lord knows I have had uuummm activites outside my marriage.
But I have not kept the fact that I was married from potential partners.
I expect the same full disclosure from the men I spend time with.

I get a response to my CL ad, from a man who is about my age and looks very handsome from his pic.
I call him Contractor Guy.
We exchange a few emails.
He asks me to meet him on the patio of a local Friday's at 4 on the following Friday afternoon.
I say yes
I get there a little early.
Get a good table, order a long island iced tea and flirt with the waiter.
I check out every man that walks in, part of me is frightened that he won't look like his pic.
Finally he arrives, looking like his picture!!
We both get a drink and order appetizers.
The conversation flows freely, we laugh.
I continue to flirt with the waiter, more subtley.
We finish our meal, he walks me to my car.
As we are standing (awkwardly) next to my car, he finally leans down and kisses me.
He is an excellent kisser, not too sloppy, just the right amount of tongue.
Very nice.
We look up and notice that the patrons on the patio were watching us.
I ask him if he would like to sit in my car and he promptly hops in.
I drive to the back of the restaraint, where we kiss more and more.
He asks me to go back to his place.
I tell him that I don't think I should (I know, shocking).
I was really digging this guy and didn't want to ruin it by jumping into bed too soon.
He mentions that if I did go home with him that he wouldn't want his neighbors to see me, because they would give him a hard time.
He also mentions that some of his ex's things are still at his house. (some of my ex's things are at my house too).
I honestly didn't think too much of either statement.
We finally say goodbye.
As I am driving home he calls.
I am smitten.
We plan to see each other the next evening after I go to a wedding.
He calls again the next morning, has something to take care of for his son.
No problem.
We text a few times.
He tells me he isn't going to be able to make it.
I'm cool with that, I understand.
Not a single word from him since!!
I did send him a brief text, no reply.
A male friend analyzed the situation and regretfully informed me that Contractor Guy was married.
Of course....................